another couple of weeks of minding seniors, trying to find solutions for old problems and a way to move onwards. for a while, things were looking up: one of them is recovering ok from the femur operation and the other was kind of stable for a few days… and then suddenly he was very much not stable, with lots of nighttime agitation, delirium, etc.

while trying to change meds to calm things down, we found out he probably has “Lewy Body Dementia”, a type of dementia that reacts badly to most anti-psychotic meds… which explains why we’ve been in the emergency room 3x in the past 2 weeks, all after trying new meds to ease his crisis. everything just seemed to make it worse, and we were at our wits’ end, sleep deprived and pulling hairs — at least now we understand what is going on. now things seem a bit more stable and we have registered him in an old people’s home — let’s see if he gets a spot soon.

it’s been a bit surreal these past few weeks… like a parallel life that we’ve been dropped into. i’m tired and achy and my blood pressure is shot from being on fight-or-flight mode all the time. i can’t sleep because i keep hearing noises and am constantly on high alert, waiting for yet another crisis to unfold. focusing and getting work done feels impossible in the middle of all this — even staying focused for 15 minutes is a challenge.

i keep telling myself this is all temporary and we’ll get through it —  we can endure difficult things for a season of life. but boy, if this hasn’t been a hard one.