just as we were wrapping up in the south and getting ready to come north, a phone call: paulo’s mom fell down and hurt herself. so we did some speedy last minute packing and cleaning, and drove north. turns out, she broke her hip, which required a few days in the hospital and surgery to reset some bones. the boy looked at his notes and his mom has been averaging one bad fall per year since 2018, which is not a great record. :(

in the meantime, we’ve been holding up the fort at their place and taking care of his dad, another grumpy senior that struggles with his own set of challenges. it’s hard, old age — and sometimes, it’s especially hard on the ones that are not that old but have been thrust into the role of carers. i have lots of complicated feelings about this, that i’m avoiding processing at the moment. in the meantime, we’ve been dealing with things the best we can, making ladders and other dangerous objects magically disappear, butchering chickens, tricking seniors into having their meds, enduring the temper tantrums… but this is not really sustainable.

and if i was already grouchy at the cold back home, things have not improved these weeks — living in a house with very little heating in the countryside feels like being thrown back into the dark ages. the fireplace is on the whole day (thank goodness we bought a truckload of good wood in the summer!) and so is the little electric heater, but there’s only so much they can do with these flimsy walls.

so it wasn’t at all the christmas we anticipated. still, we managed to sneak out for christmas eve dinner at my parents and there were gifts, which me and my small cousin distributed. i got 2 new gorgeous moomin cups and an illustrated shopping bag by jason polan (whose work i’ve been a bit obsessed with this year). i also got a new boardgame from my older godchild, some D&D dice and assorted socks. :) my mom sent me home with a bag full of leftovers, including some amazing chayotte pie from my aunt!

meanwhile, we’ve been watching a man on the inside at night, while we wait for it to be time to deliver the last meds of the day. my focus is a bit shattered by interruptions, but i’ve been reading lots in the in-betweens — i tore through 1000 pages of alchemised in a few days. i’ve also been swimming on the few days the pool is open during holiday season, and i saw little niece’s christmas party too, where she cried a little looking for me in the audience and didn’t dance much… there’s always a kid like that!

i hope you’re having a better holiday season, and that 2026 will bring only nice things!

is this week 50 already…? it feels like the year is closing in on us, wrapping itself up. it’s been a week of getting ready to leave, bit by bit: doing maintenance, filling up suitcases, finishing the stuff that is in the fridge…

it’s also been a week with a lot of sauna, because it seems to be the only thing that warms me up these days. i always get extremely grumpy this time of the year — the stupid cold indoors and the christmas stress slowly taking a toll. but there have been good things too, like all the books for little cousins, which i get to read before gifting.

i read this stephen king’s re-writing of hansel and greta and it’s brutal! but also nice — like he didn’t want to sugarcoat things. and maurice sendak’s illustrations are lovely too. i’ve also been re-reading the grandmaster of demonic cultivation books, which i first read years ago in some bootleg translated version. and we watched hank’s stand up comedy gig, pissing out cancer!

this was a week with 2 noodle dishes, which seems like the ideal winter food. one was just a fancied up indomie instant noodles thing, the other was the so good soba, from smitten kitchen (both really nice).

next week: family time!

the traditional pre-christmas anxiety is ramping up, with all the gifts brainstorming and buying, and also tons of christmas postcards to write. i hate how rushed the season feels, with its constant background worry… but despite this, i always fail to prepare for it in advance, so it all ends up just piling in these weeks and taking its toll. i know there is a way to improve on this, which is just to start preparing earlier… and yet, half of me feels like we’d just stretch the worrying over a longer period of time. anyway, i think we’ve made good progress on the preparations. we’re almost done with what we can do from here, and the rest will have to be done from the north.

in the meantime, what else have we been doing? the town is decked in its christmas lights, and we’ve been there a few times to stock on stamps or watch movies. this week we watched the secret agent with friends and it was great, though difficult in parts. it feels like this year has been a year where brazil’s reckons with its military dictatorship years and tells those stories.

we’ve been to the gym sporadically, but my tendonitis is still lingering, made worse by all the postcard writing, and so there hasn’t been much improvement there. the sauna does help morale though!

i also haven’t been reading proper books much, seeking solace in comforting fanfiction instead. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ oh well. i’ve been watching a lot of “bon appetit, your majesty” on netflix though, and mostly enjoying it. we even bought some gochujang! :D

and paulo ran the s. silvestre in vila real and improved his time from last year! woohoo!

one thing that made me happy this week was this little tired duck that was a bit of an impulse purchase among all the christmas gifts. the silicone body is super soft and you pat it gently to change the brightness of the lights. it’s been keeping me company and it’s just so cute!