meiadeleite.com is changing template and managing system in a few days, and i’ve been working on that lately, along with writing the thesis and finally wrapping up the whole internship.
hence the lack of posts here, though i still update the currently column everyday :)
just thought i’d say “hi! i’m still alive”.
stand by and take care :)
When I woke up this morning, first I laughed and then I cried.
Was I feeling good or bad? I just could not decide!
So naturally I asked my mom to tell me how I feel.
But she didn’t tell me that; instead, she told me something real:
She said, “A mom can tell you lots of things, like one and one is two.
And how to cross a busy street and how to tie your shoe.
But the one who knows the things you feel is you and nobody else.
I can’t tell you how you feel; you have to tell yourself, so figure it out!”
Figure it out!
Figure it out!
Figure it out!
You’re the only one who knows the things you feel, so figure it out!
I had a friend who lived next door, but his family had to move.
It made me mad, or made me sad, or made me just confused.
So naturally I asked my friend to look inside my head
And tell me how I really felt, but he told me this instead:
He said, “A friend can do a lot of things that no one can do better,
Like give a friend a friendly hug or write a friendly letter.
But the one who knows the way you feel is you and nobody else.
A friend can’t tell you how you feel; you have to tell yourself, so figure it out!”
Figure it out!
Figure it out!
Figure it out!
You’re the only one who knows the things you feel, so figure it out! “
oh, the sesame street’s wisdom :)
days have been… hum… quite… something.
two weeks left to present the thesis and pack a year of life into suitcases far too small to handle it. hang on while i figure a way to work things out.
and all the girls in every girlie magazine
can’t make me feel any less alone…
(death cab for cutie, on repeat around here)
“Then I thought about how for such a long time, I’ve been so used to coming home at specific hours to talk to him. how I got so used to walking on the street or going out with friends or noticing interesting things then make a mental note to tell him about it when we see one another on camera, and how right now, I don’t have to wait, I open my mouth and point out things as they happen, I don’t have to rush anywhere to see him cause he’s right there, with me, I don’t need to do anything right now, I know that will change soon with needing to find a job and start settling into a life, but now, at this moment, I don’t have to do anything, I just exist, I just am – being, living, breathing, I can do whatever I want at any given moment. I’m going to get off this chair now and give him a big hug from behind.”
(from lilly’s blog, here)
she’s from israel, he’s from new york. they felt in love with an ocean in between, connected with cables, webcams, microphones, depending on isp’s dispositions and techonology moods. but they fought for what they believed and they stayed together, regardless the distance, the timezones, the war. one could say they had everything against them, and still, they managed
at the place where i work, there’s a bunker, inside of which lays the facility that controls the gas in the whole netherlands. live. all of it. i mean, it’s possible to close all the gas entries in all the cities and knock down the country with a few clicks and dos-like commands. and still have an impact on neighbouring countries, since holland has a huge reserve of natural gas and is considered the energy roundabout of europe. pretty much as in a science fiction movie.
anyway, the bunker is an autonomous underground control room, built separately from the rest of the building, with very limited access and iris scan entrance. the people working there have received training up to 5 years and know they are being watched by the national secret services.
the air seemed to be reaching it through a dozen of anti-everything filters, it felt clean and fresh, slightly artificial, in a private hospital kind of way, but without the smell. the walls had pictures of 20 years ago, when the team still worked on another location, and also pictures of the process of building the bunker (and let me assure you, buildings construction in a country below sea level isn’t easy – but that’s material for a whole new entry )
beyond the computers, the network maps in the walls and the darts target, the focused look of some people and all the support facilities around the room, there were a couple of things that made me smile.
first, an aquarium someone brought from a mixing station somewhere, when they didn’t know what to do with it there. it was big, colorful and occupied the center of the control room.
then, on one of the walls, there was a real-time video stream from the garden outside. no sound, just image. people chatting, biking, unaware they were being watched. it gave the workers down there a meter, a view of the weather and the light outside. i found the idea so humane, so nice.
as opposed to the offices upstairs, the aura there was calm, focused. i mean, people smiled at me, the stranger being guided through them as they silently watched the screens, made calls and someone delivered some fresh made coffee.
and at that point, i understood i’ll never be one of them. can you imagine the look on her majesty’s face when someone told her the reason why the netherlands was without gas… was because a dispatcher spilled a cup of coffee on a computer? :|