Category: weeknotes

a quieter couple of weeks, working mostly from home with the heater on max the whole time, very much rinse and repeat. some good nights of sleep, finally.

we’ve slowly been fixing stuff around the house, going through lists, putting systems in place to deal with old problems, decluttering and waiting for the boy’s mom to be well enough for us to go home for a bit. voting ahead of the election to be able to disconnect from the news cycle earlier.

we’ve been visiting the boy’s dad at the nursing home, where he swings between being sedated or making a fuss and keeping everyone awake at night. the people there seem to take it in stride, par for the course, which is at least a little reassuring… but it’s hard not to worry. dementia means that he’s always a little lost, relying on muscle memory that fails him in an environment where everything is new.

otherwise life has been boring and yet grating, like cabin fever. it feels like it’s been raining non-stop for almost 2 months now, and everything is perpetually wet and damp. we’ve been watching the news in constant dismay of how waterlogged and destroyed the country is in this never-ending carrousel of winter storms. we count our blessings while drying clothes with de-humidifiers and prayers.

i’ve been reading cheesy stuff, cat sebastian and the heated rivalry book that everyone has been talking about — this feels like all the “literature” my brain can process at the moment. better times will come.

on week 3 we finally got some good news: the boy’s dad got a spot in a nursing home! so we packed his suitcase (how weird to choose all the clothes someone is going to wear for the foreseeable future), signed the papers and brought him there.

the facilities are really nice and the workers are friendly and poke him good naturedly when they pass him in the corridor. two of my cousins work there, and it feels a little easier knowing someone on the inside is keeping an eye on him. the transition hasn’t been the smoothest, with him keeping everyone up at night with his wandering around… the in-house doctor has adjusted his medication a few times to help him sleep through the night, and he’s been a bit more sedated than usual. i hope they find a good balance soon. he’s kind of getting used to being there, but not really fully aware of what’s happening — sometimes he recognizes people and sometimes he doesn’t. dementia is hard to describe — it’s cruel and relentless, a steady downwards slope. (i keep drifting to reddit to read other people’s stories).

meanwhile, i’ve been really tired. between managing all these senior logistics and having little niece around for a few days while her parents went skiing (i had offered to babysit months ago), i’m feeling pretty drained. hopefully things will be a little lighter going forward and we will be able to actually work and sleep through the night for a change.

to distract myself, i’ve finished reading all of us murderers and listening to a house with good bones, but have been mostly drawn towards dramione fanfiction, which feels easier to digest with my scattered brain. i’ve taken the kid to her swimming lessons, and enjoyed her splashing and jumps. it’s been cold and raining non-stop and it even snowed in marão, the distant hills covered with a dusting of white.

i really miss the quietness and warmth of home. soon, hopefully.

just as we were wrapping up in the south and getting ready to come north, a phone call: paulo’s mom fell down and hurt herself. so we did some speedy last minute packing and cleaning, and drove north. turns out, she broke her hip, which required a few days in the hospital and surgery to reset some bones. the boy looked at his notes and his mom has been averaging one bad fall per year since 2018, which is not a great record. :(

in the meantime, we’ve been holding up the fort at their place and taking care of his dad, another grumpy senior that struggles with his own set of challenges. it’s hard, old age — and sometimes, it’s especially hard on the ones that are not that old but have been thrust into the role of carers. i have lots of complicated feelings about this, that i’m avoiding processing at the moment. in the meantime, we’ve been dealing with things the best we can, making ladders and other dangerous objects magically disappear, butchering chickens, tricking seniors into having their meds, enduring the temper tantrums… but this is not really sustainable.

and if i was already grouchy at the cold back home, things have not improved these weeks — living in a house with very little heating in the countryside feels like being thrown back into the dark ages. the fireplace is on the whole day (thank goodness we bought a truckload of good wood in the summer!) and so is the little electric heater, but there’s only so much they can do with these flimsy walls.

so it wasn’t at all the christmas we anticipated. still, we managed to sneak out for christmas eve dinner at my parents and there were gifts, which me and my small cousin distributed. i got 2 new gorgeous moomin cups and an illustrated shopping bag by jason polan (whose work i’ve been a bit obsessed with this year). i also got a new boardgame from my older godchild, some D&D dice and assorted socks. :) my mom sent me home with a bag full of leftovers, including some amazing chayotte pie from my aunt!

meanwhile, we’ve been watching a man on the inside at night, while we wait for it to be time to deliver the last meds of the day. my focus is a bit shattered by interruptions, but i’ve been reading lots in the in-betweens — i tore through 1000 pages of alchemised in a few days. i’ve also been swimming on the few days the pool is open during holiday season, and i saw little niece’s christmas party too, where she cried a little looking for me in the audience and didn’t dance much… there’s always a kid like that!

i hope you’re having a better holiday season, and that 2026 will bring only nice things!